Bree123

I could see it going both ways. The blue hearts could serve as a reminder of what comforted their son in his hour of greatest need; or they could breed bitterness that their son was not spared death at so young an age. I think the answer is truly in how you see them grieving. Some people lose a child and turn to their faith (whatever that is) and community for strength -- in that case the blue hearts could still be welcome as a reminder that you & the community will continue to carry their son in your hearts. Others lose a child & isolate, feeling that no one can understand the depth of their grief -- in which case the blue hearts would likely feel like salt on an open wound.

Stop & really search your heart to consider what may best offer healing to them & then offer it to them with all the love & compassion you have. Either way, I think it is a sweet & precious gift you are offering to them in remembrance of their son and the love he brought into this world.

DOTTYMO

Could you not put other coloured hearts in the design as well as blue. My deepest sympathy to you and the family.

GiddyUpGo

Thank you all for your answers and suggestions. Blue was his favorite color, which is why they were using the blue hearts. I know his family is still using blue hearts as Facebook icons but I'm still not sure ... it would probably be OK to use them but I am thinking I could come up with something more representative of his life instead of the end of his life. I think I agree that I'll just have to spend some time thinking about it, I feel sure something will come to me.

Thanks again.

mimstrel

I would maybe do something less overt than making heart blocks - maybe a plain design in blues, but then include a couple of hearts in the quilting?

Also, when I made a blanket for a grieving couple (after a miscarriage), I gave it to the mother and told her that if she felt that it wasn't something she wanted to keep - if it would be a painful reminder or if she didn't want it for any other reason (and she did not need to justify herself), I would donate it to a NICU in honor of the son she lost. In her case, she was honored to receive it... but if you feel it is appropriate, perhaps you could have a relevant charity in mind that you could donate if the family is uncomfortable with your gift.

jeast

I live here too and I think that it might be good to do it in all blue, his favorite color and incorporate one heart with his name on it since it was posted all over Facebook. Perhaps even a NU logo

HillCountryGal

Trust your instincts. Pure and simple. You know this family better than any of us. I do feel they would be touched by your generous effort.... no matter what you end up making.

Carol34446

I am so sorry for the family and you. Lost my precious daughter in 93 when she was 15. Still miss her a lot and I know a quilt would mean a lot to mom.

WandaVA

I lost my son in an accident in 2006. I think you should go with whatever comes from your heart. The very fact that you care enough to make a quilt is what will be important to his mother. Bless you!

AZ Jane

Anything that was or meant for their son, they will appreciate. Maybe not not, if the pain is too much, but in the future, they will be glad to have it.

Rose Bagwell

What a terrible loss. My thought is to wait and maybe approach the mother , mention to her what your original intention was and if she would like to have a quilt made out of her son's shirts, T shirts, etc. Lovely gesture on your part. Blue hearts would still be appropriate , as those hearts were used for him while alive and now he is recovered in heaven.