Quilts in the movie Lincoln?????
04-16-2013, 07:38 PM
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04-20-2013, 05:08 AM
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04-20-2013, 05:55 AM
#44
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As to the outrage of Mrs. Lincoln with her dressmaker's trying to help her by publishing a book and doing a fundraiser for her: I may have a little insight on that. My family stories and customs have been handed down orally and through practice for several generations now.
We are a southern family that has migrated from South Carolina, to Alabama, to Missouri, Arkansas, and now Oklahoma/Texas. We were forced from Alabama when the South lost. During the war our crops and houses were burned. Afterwards our lands were confiscated. Since we were planters, we traveled west searching for land that was similar to those we had left.
With us came our customs. It was customary that one not 'share their dirty laundry in public.' That was a hard and fast rule during those times within families that were 'gentle born'. I feel sure that it extended to families of both North and South. This saying means that you keep your family woes within the family. They are not for 'public consumption'. To do otherwise brought much shame. They were taught (as I was also taught) that 'if you can't afford something, you do without'. You say, 'no thank you' when offered something that is above your means and pretend that you just do not want it. A good reputation of your character and financial status was much sought after.
Therefore, one did not accept charity. My family is still like this. During the depression, the government sent enough money to our state to provide shoes for all school children. My mother and her sisters were not allowed to have them. To do so would be accepting charity and would shame the family.
Many of my family still live by these principals and would be mortified to have someone do a fundraiser because we were living in poverty. I'm guessing this is how Mrs. Lincoln must have felt.
Of course, this is just speculation on my part. I can't possibly know how Mrs. Lincoln felt. I just know this is probably how my family would feel even now--publicly shamed. It was wonderful that her dressmaker cared for her enough to try to help. But she was from a different culture than Mrs. Lincoln.
We are a southern family that has migrated from South Carolina, to Alabama, to Missouri, Arkansas, and now Oklahoma/Texas. We were forced from Alabama when the South lost. During the war our crops and houses were burned. Afterwards our lands were confiscated. Since we were planters, we traveled west searching for land that was similar to those we had left.
With us came our customs. It was customary that one not 'share their dirty laundry in public.' That was a hard and fast rule during those times within families that were 'gentle born'. I feel sure that it extended to families of both North and South. This saying means that you keep your family woes within the family. They are not for 'public consumption'. To do otherwise brought much shame. They were taught (as I was also taught) that 'if you can't afford something, you do without'. You say, 'no thank you' when offered something that is above your means and pretend that you just do not want it. A good reputation of your character and financial status was much sought after.
Therefore, one did not accept charity. My family is still like this. During the depression, the government sent enough money to our state to provide shoes for all school children. My mother and her sisters were not allowed to have them. To do so would be accepting charity and would shame the family.
Many of my family still live by these principals and would be mortified to have someone do a fundraiser because we were living in poverty. I'm guessing this is how Mrs. Lincoln must have felt.
Of course, this is just speculation on my part. I can't possibly know how Mrs. Lincoln felt. I just know this is probably how my family would feel even now--publicly shamed. It was wonderful that her dressmaker cared for her enough to try to help. But she was from a different culture than Mrs. Lincoln.
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