Sad, but .........
09-14-2011, 08:44 AM
#92
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,812
Originally Posted by Doreen
I would go for the Noah's Arc. You need to talk to the mother, I think it is very important to acknowledge the other child that passed away.
Prayers to all-
09-14-2011, 09:45 AM
#94
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Central Willamette Valley, Oregon, USA
Posts: 7,695
Originally Posted by jmabby
I had two nephews, twins, born early, one died yesterday. I had started to make a wall hanging of Noah's ark with "They come two by two". Would you still give it or would you just make another wall hanging not mentioning the little boy that died??
09-14-2011, 09:57 AM
#95
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Centerville, WA
Posts: 1,254
My niece, that spent summers with us most of her child hood, lost a little boy when she was 6 months along. She ask me to make the gown for him. I made it & a matching blanket & had only two days to get them made & taken to her 500 miles away. She ended up keeping the matching blanket to remember. She had a little 5 year old girl at the time. Her Mother (my sister) told her not to let her daughter see the baby. She was afraid it would give her nightmares. My niece ask me & I told her to ask her daughter if she wanted to see him & to leave it up to her. She did that & when they went to see him, her daughter wanted to hold him. She ask me to go with them & we got pictures of this & my niece is so thankful they did. She did put the pictures & saved stuff away for a short time, but was so greatfull to have them later on. This made it so much easier for her daughter to talk about her baby brother that lives with Jesus. Her daughter said that until she saw & held him, she didn't think he was real. That really helped my niece & her daughter.
09-14-2011, 10:37 AM
#96
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Littlefield, TX, USA
Posts: 1,077
A niece lost a son after 3 weeks battle... we still wish Wm happy birthday 4 yaers later...on facebook...so, yes make the quilt...put it aside until this child comes home...then ask her if she would like the wall hanging for the room. I'm going to bet she says yes!
Originally Posted by jmabby
I had two nephews, twins, born early, one died yesterday. I had started to make a wall hanging of Noah's ark with "They come two by two". Would you still give it or would you just make another wall hanging not mentioning the little boy that died??
09-14-2011, 10:52 AM
#97
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,152
That's a wonderful memory for one who died. I still remember my greeat grandson that died be4fore I cdouold see him.
Originally Posted by AFQSinc
I would still make it. I have a friend that lost one of her twins (they were born at 27 weeks) and she said that the thing that hurt the most was that people didn't acknowledge the baby that died. She believed that they were doing it because they didn't want to cause her additional pain or upset. The fact of the matter is that the other baby did exist and is loved as much as the one that survived.
09-14-2011, 11:12 AM
#98
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Roanoke Texas
Posts: 411
I work in a newborn nursery, and occasionally the NICU. A number of my friends in NICU have taken grief counseling classes and do the initial counseling at the hospital, so I am a little familiar with what is going on right now. I don't know how fast a quilter you are, but if you could make up a small doll quilt size quilt for the baby that died to be either buried with the infant or as a keepsake for the parents in their memory box, that would be best right now. Save your other quilt for another time and feel mom out about it later. She may want to use it for her surviving baby or, again, as a reminder of both. The surviving baby, I think you are going to initially have to make another quilt for, but you have time on that one. It will be a few weeks before he is ready to go home and if your NICU is like ours, they have their own supply of quilts they use, but are not given to parents to take home, so you have time, and you don't want him to have it before he leaves the hospital, as it could be mistaken for one of theirs and reused for other babies. Virg
09-14-2011, 11:14 AM
#99
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 2,667
I think the bible story is the same. Noah's Ark is a great idea for a quilt. The twins are not in it. I'm sorry for your loss! I know you meant to do the "two" thing. I don't know how to word this right. I think the intent of making it will be a comfort. To Mom now, and to his lost brother later.
09-14-2011, 01:33 PM
#100
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,851
I think you have been given lots of advice here which I agree with. I had a cousing who lost a baby at birth and also lost a twin in utero in another pregnancy and for her there was a mixed time of her not wanting family to say anything at the very start to moving to feeling hurt that family didn't acknowledge her lost ones later on, so people can change. I would suggest to stick with your original plan and if you sense that she isn't going to go that way at the start but changes her mind later she will be so pleased you continued with your project, so either way you will both be winners. Sorry for the loss.
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