UPDATE on "Is this Cheating"
02-10-2011, 03:39 AM
#61
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pleasant Hill MO
Posts: 1,669
As Cindy Roth says 3 Rules of Quilting, 1 There are no Quilt Police 2 There are no Rules in Quilting 3 Refer to No. 1. You have every right to stand up for yourself and I am proud of you. I think what probably hurts most is no matter how old we get we still want approval from our parents. Sometimes our parents are not flexible enough, she will come around. Maybe send her a text just telling her you love her, and she knows you do
02-10-2011, 04:09 AM
#62
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Glenmoore, PA
Posts: 7,941
Originally Posted by Airwick156
Hi everyone. Thank you all for all the kind words. I appreciate all of them.
I thought I would give you an update on this post.
Today I went to my little sewing group like I do every Tuesday at noon. I was actually a little bit nervous to go because I have done alot of "soul searching" this past week with the help of everyones posts and I wasn't sure what I was going to say to my mom when I pulled out "THAT" Quilt.
So, I decided to make a Beach Ball Quilt and took that with me and tried to do the machine stitching all around it...hey that was pretty cool and I had lots of fun doing it. I got 5 of the 13 done. So I guess thats not too bad. Oh and I used Black and a zig zag stitch. Not really sure I like it, but hey its the first one and I figure it is a practice quilt anyways. I WILL make another one of them for sure.
Anyways, I took that Beach Ball quilt AND I took "That" quilt too. When I got "tired" of doing the Beach Balls, I put it away and I pulled out "That" Quilt, spread it out on one of the tables, kind of to check and see if I needed to do any more tying which I didn't. But my mother came out of the bathroom and saw it spread out on the table and she wobbled over as fast as she could and picked up on of the sides and said "I CANT BELIEVE YOU WENT AHEAD AND CHEATED". My heart started Racing, my blood pressure was rising, I could feel the anger circulating through my body and then I opened MY BIG FAT MOUTH....and told her.....
Oh man I thought she was going to deck me.....
I said "YOU ARE NOT THE QUILT POLICE....If I wanted the Police to come and check my work I would call the Quilting Boards Police Department." She looked at me and said "WHO?" So I repeated it, she was dumbfounded hadnt a clue what I was talking about. LOL. Then as she started to walk away, I said to her....ITS MY QUILT AND I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT to it and YOU WILL NOT tell me how to do it. If I screw it up I SCREW IT up!!! She says "Who told you that you can fold over the backing like that anyways". My response was "Before sewing Machines were invented, the old ladies did everything by hand EVEN Tied their quilts. And THEY couldn't afford to go out and buy extra fabric just to cut up and resew it onto a quilt when there was enough to fold over." And I was very stern and had my feet plastered to the floor waiting for a slap or something for talking to her that way. But it never came. I think I took her totally by surprise. Took ME by surprise too.One of the ladies that goes and normally is very quiet raised her voice and said....WELL DONE DEANNA. Wow!!! Good for you for standing up to your mom like you did. And my mom didnt say not one more word to me for the rest of the afternoon, until she was walking out the door and again said "Thats Cheating" under her breath. Me and this ladie shes a doll and I love her dearly had a good chat afterwards. Because I really did feel bad about talking to my mom that way, BUT...IT DID FEEL GOOD. Thanks everyone for your advice. Oh and she hasnt called or texted me at all since 4:00pm when she left and its now 8:30pm so maybe shes thinking about what I said. Who knows. LOL ")
I thought I would give you an update on this post.
Today I went to my little sewing group like I do every Tuesday at noon. I was actually a little bit nervous to go because I have done alot of "soul searching" this past week with the help of everyones posts and I wasn't sure what I was going to say to my mom when I pulled out "THAT" Quilt.
So, I decided to make a Beach Ball Quilt and took that with me and tried to do the machine stitching all around it...hey that was pretty cool and I had lots of fun doing it. I got 5 of the 13 done. So I guess thats not too bad. Oh and I used Black and a zig zag stitch. Not really sure I like it, but hey its the first one and I figure it is a practice quilt anyways. I WILL make another one of them for sure.
Anyways, I took that Beach Ball quilt AND I took "That" quilt too. When I got "tired" of doing the Beach Balls, I put it away and I pulled out "That" Quilt, spread it out on one of the tables, kind of to check and see if I needed to do any more tying which I didn't. But my mother came out of the bathroom and saw it spread out on the table and she wobbled over as fast as she could and picked up on of the sides and said "I CANT BELIEVE YOU WENT AHEAD AND CHEATED". My heart started Racing, my blood pressure was rising, I could feel the anger circulating through my body and then I opened MY BIG FAT MOUTH....and told her.....
Oh man I thought she was going to deck me.....
I said "YOU ARE NOT THE QUILT POLICE....If I wanted the Police to come and check my work I would call the Quilting Boards Police Department." She looked at me and said "WHO?" So I repeated it, she was dumbfounded hadnt a clue what I was talking about. LOL. Then as she started to walk away, I said to her....ITS MY QUILT AND I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT to it and YOU WILL NOT tell me how to do it. If I screw it up I SCREW IT up!!! She says "Who told you that you can fold over the backing like that anyways". My response was "Before sewing Machines were invented, the old ladies did everything by hand EVEN Tied their quilts. And THEY couldn't afford to go out and buy extra fabric just to cut up and resew it onto a quilt when there was enough to fold over." And I was very stern and had my feet plastered to the floor waiting for a slap or something for talking to her that way. But it never came. I think I took her totally by surprise. Took ME by surprise too.One of the ladies that goes and normally is very quiet raised her voice and said....WELL DONE DEANNA. Wow!!! Good for you for standing up to your mom like you did. And my mom didnt say not one more word to me for the rest of the afternoon, until she was walking out the door and again said "Thats Cheating" under her breath. Me and this ladie shes a doll and I love her dearly had a good chat afterwards. Because I really did feel bad about talking to my mom that way, BUT...IT DID FEEL GOOD. Thanks everyone for your advice. Oh and she hasnt called or texted me at all since 4:00pm when she left and its now 8:30pm so maybe shes thinking about what I said. Who knows. LOL ")
02-10-2011, 04:59 AM
#63
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 1,866
Good Job!!!! and don't you dare start feeling guilty about it!! Bravo, I'm betting the others in the group were hoping that you would speak up someday. Sounds like the lady who stood up for you is more a Mom to you than your Mother. "Don't cave and don't apologize, you only told the truth.
02-10-2011, 05:29 AM
#65
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: MN / GA
Posts: 1,435
Sometimes we have to stand up to our moms because they always think of us as being little girls. I just hate it that you had to say those things to her in a "public" setting. She's probably embarrassed somewhat. Don't let this be something that will cause a bigger and bigger gap between the two of you.
02-10-2011, 05:52 AM
#67
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Bowling Green, KY
Posts: 2,024
Good for you for standing up and calling her out on her bad behavior! Just sorry it had to be in public.
I had one of "those" Moms and I had to live far, far away and still eventually divorced her for good. Sad, but there are people that are just impossible to have a real relationship with.
I had one of "those" Moms and I had to live far, far away and still eventually divorced her for good. Sad, but there are people that are just impossible to have a real relationship with.
02-10-2011, 06:22 AM
#69
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lorain,oh
Posts: 642
sometimes it's necessary! good for you! I'm very lucky, my mom(85) only critizim is to remind 5 daughters-"It's not aQUILT until its finished!"--We tend to call tops QUILTS! LOL!!! She always loves any quilts we do & likes seeing them in different colorations!
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