Watching out for Tender Feelings and yet Giving Advice
#41
I have learned the hard way myself on this subject--got rebuffed in no uncertain terms for attempting to point out a mistake in a quilt-learner's first efforts; lost contact with the person because of it; my advice is to let it ride and don't agonize over it like I did. It took me forever to get over it and I lost a friend in the process. You gave it to them, let them enjoy it and love you for that.....
#43
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Tucson, Az
Posts: 36
When i was a brand new quilter i had finished the top and layered it.. then i sitd around each block to stabilize it as i had never quilted before. I thought it needed more quilting so i took it to a local quilt shop and spoke to the current hand quilting expert. I asked how much more quilting the piece would need to be right and he told me that there was enough quilting on it now to hold together any more would be for accent and decoration. that quilt has now held up for 10 years of washing and use. I think some feel that if every inch of a quilt isn't quilted its not enough. I prefer a softer feel.
Judy
Judy
#44
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Martensdale, Iowa
Posts: 319
The only problem is that if you don't say something and they know you have quilted for year and they wash there quilt and it is ruined they still could blame you. Mostly since they have showed you the quilt and you have seen there work. Also if a lot of work is gone into there first quilt and it is ruined with the first washing they may never make another one. So I would tell them but also let they know what a beautiful quilt it is.
Last edited by grandmahoney; 03-31-2013 at 03:15 AM. Reason: Spelling
#45
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Martensdale, Iowa
Posts: 319
The only problem is that if you don't say something and they know you have quilted for year and they wash there quilt and it is ruined they still could blame you. Mostly since they have showed you the quilt and you have seen there work. They will wonder why you didn't say something. Also if a lot of work is gone into there first quilt and it is ruined with the first washing they may never make another one. So I would tell them but also let they know what a beautiful quilt it is.
#46
Power Poster
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Alabama
Posts: 15,368
One thing I learned when I took "people" classes for management is to always start constructive criticism with a compliment. You might suggest that it has taken you many years to learn what you know about quilting and in the beginning you made many mistakes. Then ask if they would mind if you were to pass on some of the mistakes you made and help them not to make the same mistakes. Also tell them that you are so proud of the quilts they have made and that they have done a great job for their first quilt.
#47
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,135
Why beat around the bush...just tell her and why..I don't think she would mind since she obviously wants to learn how to quilt, she would appreciate the advice...and honestly do you want to spend that much time teaching her how if she is not going to listen to what you say?
#48
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Hartsburg, Mo
Posts: 309
What is the big goal here? To inspire a love of quilting, sewing, creativity? Or a perfect finished product? I would let the answer to that question guide you.
Most of us have experienced less than perfect projects - and we learned from them. Some of us learned how to cut, piece, press, quilt more carefully. Some of us learned we didn't really like this art form and moved on to something else. But we learned. And if we enjoyed it, we persevered - and our second project was better, and our third was better, etc.
To bring this full circle for the young ladies, you might talk with them about the process - what they liked, didn't like, struggled with, etc. If through that conversation you learn they struggled with the quilting, that might be a time to offer to add some.
Since they quilted them on their domestics, they may have had trouble maneuvering the quilt and are just happy to have it done.....and we also have to remember that our vision grows and develops with each project - maybe they just didn't know what else to do?
No matter what, you can be happy you have helped them with completing a project :-)
Most of us have experienced less than perfect projects - and we learned from them. Some of us learned how to cut, piece, press, quilt more carefully. Some of us learned we didn't really like this art form and moved on to something else. But we learned. And if we enjoyed it, we persevered - and our second project was better, and our third was better, etc.
To bring this full circle for the young ladies, you might talk with them about the process - what they liked, didn't like, struggled with, etc. If through that conversation you learn they struggled with the quilting, that might be a time to offer to add some.
Since they quilted them on their domestics, they may have had trouble maneuvering the quilt and are just happy to have it done.....and we also have to remember that our vision grows and develops with each project - maybe they just didn't know what else to do?
No matter what, you can be happy you have helped them with completing a project :-)
#49
Some things in life need to be learned thru experience. Let her learn the hard way, the lesson will stick. We all made mistakes when we started quilting, those mistakes are what made us bettert quilters!
#50
Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 276
If you told them once and they didn't take your advice leave it alone. Both of the girls and the mother will find out when they wash it. The girls grew up as part of the microwave generation...3 minutes or less and it's done.
They will learn that some things take time and love. They haven't learned that yet.
They will learn that some things take time and love. They haven't learned that yet.
Last edited by eyes; 03-31-2013 at 05:41 AM.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
purplemem
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
11
02-17-2011 10:52 PM