What to do with a handmade wedding gift?
#21
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I would rather see my quilt used than put in the closet. Give it to someone who will use it. I fear asking the person who gave it to you what she wants you to do with it would cause hard feelings.
#23
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Vancouver Island, Beautiful BC
Posts: 2,090
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Why are people held hostage by hand made gifts?
A gift with strings attached to it is no gift at all.
If I am given something I do not like, would not use etc, why on earth does the giver's taste outweigh my own.
Why is a hand made gift 'on loan' to be returned if the giver deems I am not using it a the manner they approve of?
We use down duvets on all our beds. No need what so ever for quilts on the beds.
But we go to the beach each and every day of the summer. A quilt it perfect for on the sand or grass depending on which beach we go to. I am giving my mother a beach quilt this year.
I was gifted a beautiful pink linen table cloth. Sounds lovely? I do not like pink, at all, ever. I gave away the table cloth without ever using it. Why should I keep it? Just because it was given to me?
A gift with strings attached to it is no gift at all.
If I am given something I do not like, would not use etc, why on earth does the giver's taste outweigh my own.
Why is a hand made gift 'on loan' to be returned if the giver deems I am not using it a the manner they approve of?
We use down duvets on all our beds. No need what so ever for quilts on the beds.
But we go to the beach each and every day of the summer. A quilt it perfect for on the sand or grass depending on which beach we go to. I am giving my mother a beach quilt this year.
I was gifted a beautiful pink linen table cloth. Sounds lovely? I do not like pink, at all, ever. I gave away the table cloth without ever using it. Why should I keep it? Just because it was given to me?
#24
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,051
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I made my mother a quilt that she oohed and aahed over, but it promptly went to the closet, never to be seen again. She even complains about how much room it takes up. I would love to have it back for myself or give it to someone else who would use it for its intended purpose. I think there is nothing wrong with passing it on to someone who will use it.
When I started quilting my mom told me NOT to make her one. She was purging "things" as it was. I understood and appreciated her honesty. I was off the hook! LOLl! Love her...and i miss her daily.
![Frown](https://cdn.quiltingboard.com/images/smilies/frown.png)
sandy
#25
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,051
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Why are people held hostage by hand made gifts?
A gift with strings attached to it is no gift at all.
If I am given something I do not like, would not use etc, why on earth does the giver's taste outweigh my own.
Why is a hand made gift 'on loan' to be returned if the giver deems I am not using it a the manner they approve of?
We use down duvets on all our beds. No need what so ever for quilts on the beds.
But we go to the beach each and every day of the summer. A quilt it perfect for on the sand or grass depending on which beach we go to. I am giving my mother a beach quilt this year.
I was gifted a beautiful pink linen table cloth. Sounds lovely? I do not like pink, at all, ever. I gave away the table cloth without ever using it. Why should I keep it? Just because it was given to me?
A gift with strings attached to it is no gift at all.
If I am given something I do not like, would not use etc, why on earth does the giver's taste outweigh my own.
Why is a hand made gift 'on loan' to be returned if the giver deems I am not using it a the manner they approve of?
We use down duvets on all our beds. No need what so ever for quilts on the beds.
But we go to the beach each and every day of the summer. A quilt it perfect for on the sand or grass depending on which beach we go to. I am giving my mother a beach quilt this year.
I was gifted a beautiful pink linen table cloth. Sounds lovely? I do not like pink, at all, ever. I gave away the table cloth without ever using it. Why should I keep it? Just because it was given to me?
I quietly "regift". No one has ever asked me to account for a gift given to me.
sandy
#26
Power Poster
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 19,127
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I agree with Prism99. I never use the antique quilt top that I bought from a great great Aunt and then my Great Aunt's quilting group hand quilted it for me with neon orange solid for the backing. She is now deceased over 10 years ago and I can remember the good times I had with her whenever I air out the quilt.
#27
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Tulsa, Ok
Posts: 4,582
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This is my thought too. I would rather it go to someone who would use/value it. However if giving it away would cause family problems I would probably first offer it back to the maker and explain that you don't use it and want to pass it on to a loving home.
#28
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When I give something I could care less what the receiver does with it. It is no longer mine.
Don't allow 'stuff' to weigh down your life and spirit.
You could also donate them to a worthy cause for raffle auctions.
Don't allow 'stuff' to weigh down your life and spirit.
You could also donate them to a worthy cause for raffle auctions.
#29
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sonoma County, CA
Posts: 4,299
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I don't get hurt if someone didn't like a quilt I've given them; I get disappointed that I'd missed the mark so badly in trying to gauge their taste. I love the exchange program idea and might try something like that myself: although so far it appears that most of the people I've gifted a quilt to has liked theirs, I know my BIL promptly stuffed his into storage. That disappointed me but didn't hurt my feelings; now I just kinda feel bad that he's got this quilt-anchor in his life; I know he has very little storage space and is probably keeping it just to avoid insulting me. I should just offer to take it back and give him something else that he can actually use.
#30
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 463
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Giving hand made gifts is a touchy subject. I don't give any to those I know don't appreciate them. I try to find out what they do like. Now I am into scrap quilts and everyone loves them (that I give them to) as they can go anywhere. I do try to find out what color they like best and include it as a center square or in triangles so that makes them happy. Our family gets to choose theirs as I've made over 100 quilts, wall hangings, etc. They treasure them and use them. Because I don't hand quilt any more--(Arthur Itis came to visit) So big quilts get machine quilted and the smaller items I can do but just takes me a lot longer than before. If someone doesn't want something....they can swap, which never happened.
I offer my family an exchange program. If you received one of my quilts you can trade it for any quilt I have , that is not designated for a specific person. About once a year I send out photos, of the quilts I have that are available to trade.
I would rather get a quilt back than it sit on a closest shelf, or in the dogs bed.
I would rather get a quilt back than it sit on a closest shelf, or in the dogs bed.
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