What would U do in this case.....
10-06-2010, 12:26 PM
#71
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lost in a quilt shop :-)
Posts: 1,342
Yep, I too am of the mindset to call and find out, with no shame or apologies, just be friendly.
It will give you piece of mind which is priceless. I might be forgetful to remember to bring an item along to return but I never forget that it isn't mine. I realize everyone is not me, duh, but I treat others the way I want to be treated and if there is some confusion/misunderstanding I have to clear it up so it doesn't create further problems.
If I find out later that I'm dealing with someone who intentionally borrows with no intent to return/rectify or they turn the story to benefit themselves, then I have just as much "right" to present my point of view and letting them know I'm onto them. I may not get the results I was looking for but I can rest knowing that I made it clear that I know what sort of person they are.
Not every confrontation has to be confrontational.
It will give you piece of mind which is priceless. I might be forgetful to remember to bring an item along to return but I never forget that it isn't mine. I realize everyone is not me, duh, but I treat others the way I want to be treated and if there is some confusion/misunderstanding I have to clear it up so it doesn't create further problems.
If I find out later that I'm dealing with someone who intentionally borrows with no intent to return/rectify or they turn the story to benefit themselves, then I have just as much "right" to present my point of view and letting them know I'm onto them. I may not get the results I was looking for but I can rest knowing that I made it clear that I know what sort of person they are.
Not every confrontation has to be confrontational.
10-06-2010, 01:34 PM
#73
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: N Indiana
Posts: 518
You gals are to nice. I would call and ask if any of the fabric worked out for her. Then I would ask if I could pickup what she hadn't used. This may trigger that she needs to pay you. The least she could have done was call you and say how the quilt turned out. I hate freeloaders. What has happened to manners?
10-06-2010, 01:48 PM
#74
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: PEI, Canada
Posts: 521
Originally Posted by justwannaquilt
There is a bunch of optimistic people on this board! When it comes to fellow human beings and their actions I am very pessimistic. I say call her and ask her what the issue is! Maybe she did lose your number, but maybe she also wanted something for nothing!
I too hate when people say one thing and do another. Maybe call her and ask her if she has any plaid flannel, because your making a quilt and could use some! lol See I am mean.
I too hate when people say one thing and do another. Maybe call her and ask her if she has any plaid flannel, because your making a quilt and could use some! lol See I am mean.
10-06-2010, 02:00 PM
#75
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 357
It's even possible she didn't use any of the fabric and might be reluctant to bring it up in case your feelings might be hurt.
It's perfectly reasonable to call her and say you were thinking of her (true), wondered whether the fabric you contributed was used (also true), and could you arrange with her to retrieve the ones not used (true again).
As far as being paid for the fabric she used, I would let that slide. I'd be satisfied to have back the ones not used, my compromise if I felt I wasn't clear enough in the beginning. Once you have called to remind her, she either acknowledges an obligation or she doesn't value your friendship. At that point, you know where she stands - values what you have more than who you are to her.
I have a sister with a habit of trying to take advantage of me, and in the end we aren't close. I love her, just don't love the things she does to me. And I can only manage my behavior, not hers.
Call her and settle your mind about where you stand, then move forward.
It's perfectly reasonable to call her and say you were thinking of her (true), wondered whether the fabric you contributed was used (also true), and could you arrange with her to retrieve the ones not used (true again).
As far as being paid for the fabric she used, I would let that slide. I'd be satisfied to have back the ones not used, my compromise if I felt I wasn't clear enough in the beginning. Once you have called to remind her, she either acknowledges an obligation or she doesn't value your friendship. At that point, you know where she stands - values what you have more than who you are to her.
I have a sister with a habit of trying to take advantage of me, and in the end we aren't close. I love her, just don't love the things she does to me. And I can only manage my behavior, not hers.
Call her and settle your mind about where you stand, then move forward.
10-06-2010, 06:13 PM
#80
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: IL Quad-cities
Posts: 252
Hmmm...how about going to church with your Mom and "just running into" the woman. Strike up a conversation about the wedding, ask how her quilt's coming and was she able to use any of YOUR fabric? Mention that you would like to have back any of YOUR fabric she didn't use and you could stop by on your way home to pick it up!! Maybe this conversation face to face and hopefully in front of family or friends might help resolve this for you. I guess if she "forgot" she intended to reimburse you she now would have a chance to remember.
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