kqqlme1147

Help her make it and show her and everyone (the x and new wify) that you are a loving and forgiving woman. You would be doing it fir your daughter not your x.

lillybeck

I agree with this. So many have given the advice to just do it and enjoy your time with her.

KimS

When my son was about 4 years old he wanted to get his Dad a Christmas present so he picked it out and I paid for it. I helped him to wrap the gift and sent it with him when his Dad came to pick him up for Christmas Eve. When his Dad brought him home the gift was also returned but not when either of us was looking. When my son saw the gift sitting by the door he burst out in tears and wanted to know why his Dad didn't want his gift. When I called my son's Dad to ask why the gift was returned he said it was because I had paid for it. Duh! My son was only 4 and even though I'd paid for it, it was still from his son. Try explaining to a 4 year old what a jerk is!!! Anyway....make sure the gift will be accepted since you will have a hand in making the quilt. It would be a real shame to put in that much time and effort only to have it returned or refused. Not to mention hurt feelings. Just thought I'd share my experience to help you decide how to handle this touchy situation.

RobertaMarie

Thank you, Peggi for sharing Jennifer's story. That Girl took the high road and gained great rewards! She was better, not bitter, and her picture with her little girl shows the love she has. I would love to have a daughter, and give her the love my mother gave me.

maryp

i would help her he is her dad and it will be making speacaltime for u and her

luv2so

I'd help her. My husbands ex and I are good friends, so are my ex and I. We all have holiday dinners together. I know it sounds strange but it sure makes life a lot easier on the kids. I remember about 8 years ago when we had dinner with my husbands ex and all our children. His oldest said it was really nice to be able to have the holidays with both parents. I wasn't really crazy about the idea at the time but when his daughter said that it made me realize who really does pay the price when the parents divorce. My ex is also remarried, his new wife is very nice.

We had a court hearing to get custody of a granddaughter (1 1/2 at the time) who was living in a very bad situation with her mother and stepfather. My husband's ex came to court and testified for us. We got custody and the judge said this was the best, well adjusted family he's ever seen in his court. He said he felt we all had the children's best interests. Made me feel good to hear that from a judge. I've never said a bad word to my children about their father, I don't need to, they were there and know what happened.

So, based on our situation, help her. I know it's for him, but it's her gift to him. And believe me, in the long run it will be your gift to your daughter.

blossom808

I agree with what people are saying. To Help your Daughter make it. Its the time you spend with your Daughter that counts the most. She will remember this always. Just remember the Love you share with your daughter. I hope you enjoy your time making this with her.

memepat

You must be a very special mom for her to ask this of you. This lets me know where you stand with her. I feel you will help her not because it is going to your X but because you love her and want others to admire her. This action is putting others above ourselves, one of the hardest things to do. Good luck. Make that quilt beautiful and enjoy the time with your daughter.

Judie

Since it's your ex it might seem hard.. but he is not your daughter's ex.. and it's obvious she loves him.. Love her enough to not let your relationship with him even enter into this project.. and if you can manage, be gracious about him and wish him well.. Being selfless like that can only help your relationship with your daughter and the positive feelings you have about yourself. Do this project and it probably will not be the last quilt you'll get to make with your daughter.. make it fun and a happy time. It will be well worth the time spent.

Mad Mimm

I would help - the daughter asked you to help HER not the ex. Then again I don't have an ex, so I have no real world experience on how I would feel if I did have one. I think I would want to focus on the fact that my daughter wanted my help, and that it would be setting a good example in graciousness to help her. Of course, if you really can't bring yourself to do it maybe you have a quilty friend that could help her? Good luck either way.

I don't mean to play Devil's Advocate here, but imagine how the Bride will feel, sleeping under a quilt made possibly through the help of HIS ex?? Just a thought!