BETTY62

If I were in this situation I hope I would be considerate of my daughter's feelings and help her make her dad a quilt. Her dad will always be her dad and like it or not that will never change. For your daughter's sake, please try to get to the point where you can at least pretend to tolerate your ex as there will be school events, graduations, a wedding and the birth of grandchildren where she will want you both to be there. Please don't make these events stressful for your daughter and put her in the position where she has to make a choice between her parents. I'm sure she feels a big void in her life due to the divorce and really doesn't understand why it happened. Please think about what you do or say in situations concerning her father so that it doesn't make your daughter feel she is being punish for something she had no control over. Reading between the lines, it shows that you are trying to do right thing, that you are a loving Mother and that your daughted feels she can talk to you about anything. I wish the only best for you and your daughter in the future.

frarose

There are a lot of different opinions here. Maybe some new wives might appreciate an ex making a quilt for her and her new hubby. I can 100% guarantee you that my ex's wife would have thrown it in the trash if she thought I made it or helped. Think of all the hard work. I like the idea of your DD taking a class and making it there with no help from you. The two of you can find many other projects to work on as mother/daughter. This is not one I would recommend.

frarose

This is exactly what I wrote about. Do you really want your DD to give a gift that would irk the new wife???? I don't think so. She will have to share her dad with this new woman.

angelanicole

I agree with you on this 100%, or may be she will burn it in her backyard or cut it in shreds

emsgranny

I dont agree with this AT ALL!!!!

I think the time spent with her would be priceless!!! You should be honored by the fact she thiks so much of your handi work that she wants you to teach her. I would let her do the work though - just advise, Hopefully she wont talk too much about your ex and his new wife - if she does just change the subject. You can show her how "big" of a person you are to overcome the past. Hopefully your ex and his new wife wont discard it or not use it if your daughter proudly announces that mom helped. If they do it would be on them not you - you would certainly come out a winner if this happens..your daughter will appreciate the fact that you were "good" enough to help her make that special gift - maybe everone will think twice before saying negative things.

As far as sharing with newbees-as one I am so very grateful for those who have shared their talents and experience with me and I would think it would be an honor to share my expertise!!!!

vivoaks

If it was me, this would be the easiest way to deal with it. Just help your daughter make a quilt - then it's hers to do with, what she wants....

Happy Tails

I would help her make it and sandwich it with bedbugs................seriously I wouldnt make my ex anything. As far as time with your daughter...I'm sure you spend lots of time together it doesn't have to be doing anything for him....JMO

marymay

Tell her to make it herself. That your ex is your ex. No longer your husband. Let the new wife deal with him. Be happy that you are not married to him any more. :-)

Iraxy

When my ex and I got divorced so that he could marry his lover, my daughter was devastated. She was only 8. However, although he was a terrible excuse for a husband he was her father. Over the years, I have always been civil to him and his wife (now his ex). It has gained me lots. She is very nice and thoughtful with my daughter (now 40) and her family and has even stayed at my house when she returns from a business trip and needs a break before she returns home 250 miles further. You never know what life will be bringing you. Be nice, help the daughter with the quilt. You can do this, and you can do it well.

Iraxy

I wish I had read this reply. it is so insightful and loving. I did this and have always kept a loving relationship with my daughter. She had enough stress in her life without my adding more. This is exactly what you need to do. I hope you will. Best wishes.