what would you do if your daughter came home and said you ex is getting married and ?
11-30-2011, 08:26 AM
#221
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,229
Well, if it was my ex I'd sprinkle the batting with a generous dose of itching powder. Seriously though, since you'd be doing it more for your daughter than your ex, I'd help her. And just remember, he won't be able NOT to think of you when he climbs into bed under that quilt (and either will the new wife)! LOL! 
11-30-2011, 11:39 AM
#223
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,667
My 1st thought is its your daughter, and for you to help her, and be the bigger person...then along comes the thought of only you know how things were and are for you and your feelings regarding the past marriage and divorce... I don't have a daughter, and haven't been through a divorce...I do have a son, and my parents were divorced, so I have some experience...as it is for me, I would help my son with anything he asked me to...my feelings would be second to his. Good luck with whatever you decide. I do have to say I did get a chuckle when I read GmaJane's comment above...
Regards,
Kif
Regards,
Kif
11-30-2011, 12:30 PM
#225
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,972
Why can't she do it on her own? My mom quilted, but never taught me. I taught myself to quilt just by reading books and blogs-and I'm still learning new techniques from blog posts. There are plenty of tutorials on the internet to learn how to make a quilt from start to finish. If she runs into trouble, you should help her out, but she should make the quilt herself. A simple quilt isn't difficult to do. If she can read and follow directions then she can make a quilt. Plus, the new wife may not like a quilt that you had your hand in making. She needs to do this on her own then later you can work together on a quilt just for your daughter to enjoy.
Last edited by vintagemotif; 11-30-2011 at 12:45 PM.
11-30-2011, 12:51 PM
#226
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,972
Since I don't have an "X" husband it's kind of hard to think what I would do. What I THINK I would do is this. See exactly what pattern she wants to use. Then on your own scrap fabric show her how to cut it and then tell her to use 1/4" seams when she pieces it for the top. Tell her what kind of batting to use and see what backing she wants to use. Again...show her with your own fabric how you make a quilt sandwich. Is she planning to stitch in the ditch or FMQ or send it out to be quilted. Oh...and binding of course...again show her on your own scrap fabric. I consider THIS helping...and not doing it for her.
Did she specify what she wanted from you...strictly guidance or does she want you to actually have hands on sewing/quilting for your X?
I guess a logical question too is...how old is your daughter? If she is really little then I would probably consider the hands on approach. But if she is a teenager or older then I would go with the guidance approach.
Did she specify what she wanted from you...strictly guidance or does she want you to actually have hands on sewing/quilting for your X?
I guess a logical question too is...how old is your daughter? If she is really little then I would probably consider the hands on approach. But if she is a teenager or older then I would go with the guidance approach.
Excellent post and suggestion!!!
11-30-2011, 06:39 PM
#227
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 477
Oh Hell NO, as the child of divorced parents them NOT getting along is part of the deal! I say you explain to your daughter that that is hurtful to you and she needs to find some one else to help her! AND I am sorry for your but chances are he will get what he deserves!
11-30-2011, 08:38 PM
#228
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 706
For her to ask your help is something that must have been hard knowing who it is for. Though this may be tough make every moment of it with your daughter and help her to see that even amid this tough choice you are a loving classy Mom who is better then bitter resentment even though you may not be thrilled with it. Think about it as if you're looking back on it years from now. You will always have that twing of regret hanging over you. Besides, that quilt may be what your daughter and maybe someday a grandchild wraps around them treasuring it as an expression of you that even in the really tough times you were there.
11-30-2011, 09:30 PM
#229
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 661
You've received a jillion comments on this, including one of mine already, but I have one more thing to say. The fact that you wrote in to ask about this says to me that you are a great mom, and whatever you decide, even if it means saying "no", you are still a great mom, the bigger person, and you are still "taking the high road"! Every divorce is different, and speaking as one who has been thru it, only you can really know what is right for you! There are plenty of other ways to show your daughter you love her if you opt out of this one. God Bless!
12-01-2011, 12:40 PM
#230
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 7,312
I agree! The fact that your daughter felt free to come to you with this request is a great compliment to how you must have handled the whole divorce so congrats to you! Help her and feel proud of the job you have done and of your daughter!
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