C.Cal Quilt Girl

Good Luck on this sometimes it's hard to be so nice, Be Gentle and do it on the phone, that you've thought about it and really don't want to do the kit, blame it on creative process because a project this large you really need to enjoy, Let her know you think the world of her but just one per person/couple, you have others many still to go!
I'm sure she realizes hubbie can be a pain, let her know don't want to do one for him, may seem mean but could completely solve the problem, she probibly just ask for him. May have thought no labor would be applied since they bought the kit.
Back to Good Luck :)

sgtmom

Absolutely right!!!! Presumptuous to say the least. In essence, she didn't ask you to do this. She bought a kit, sent it to you, and expected you to do this. A true friend would never do this. It might be time to re-evaluate your relationship. It is unfortunate that some of our friends marry persons not to our liking, however, I think this situation is more than just your dislike of the husband. Time to re-think this.

bj

I think you have to weigh how much you like her against how much you may not like him. You're really doing it for her, even if he's the one getting it. I'd do it; it's not a big project. And be ready with a quick no if she asks again.

catrancher

I was thinking about this earlier this evening. I'll be seeing her this winter when we make a trip south. That is when I'm supposed to get the kit from her. I'm thinking about bringing along some fusing medium and showing her how to do it. Raw-edged applique just isn't that hard to do. She might even enjoy learning. We've spoken about sewing machines before, and she says she hasn't used hers in years. Maybe this could be a good way for her to get re-introduced to it.

fuail

I was thinking about this earlier this evening. I'll be seeing her this winter when we make a trip south. That is when I'm supposed to get the kit from her. I'm thinking about bringing along some fusing medium and showing her how to do it. Raw-edged applique just isn't that hard to do. She might even enjoy learning. We've spoken about sewing machines before, and she says she hasn't used hers in years. Maybe this could be a good way for her to get re-introduced to it.[/quote]

I think that's the best route at this point. Sometimes if you do one thing for a demanding person, they keep demanding more. Better to nip this in the bud, Good luck!

tooMuchFabric

In one way it's real simple, and in another way it's real complicated.

We, as mostly being women (not all, I know) quilters, tend to be nurturers and caregivers. And in a word, enablers.
We somehow seem to accept the responsibilities other people throw upon us, whether WE want it or not.

So I'm saying, I know you do not want to hurt your friend, and you value her, but she has visited this chore onto you, and you let her do it.

And if she gets what she wants this time, it will happen again.

I find it interesting that we can tell each other whom we have never and likely will never meet our true thoughts and feelings on this board, like true sisters and brothers, but we cannot Just Say No to a "friend."

We can only be taken advantage of if we let it happen.

On the other hand, if your friend thought you would drool at the mouth to do this for her, maybe she meant no harm. But if she is never told different, she will continue to think you love doing this.

Or maybe she knows you don't really like it, but you will do it anyway.

Do it if it makes you happy. Don't do it if it makes you puke.

Now HE is a whole nother story.

We gotta quit lying down.
.

Now to answer your question, I would have said "I really don't want to do this, Why did you buy the kit if you don't want to make it, and I will be happy to show you how so you can do it."
And I have said this.
.

GrannieAnnie

..........Now, I'm stuck doing this project that I don't want to do. It's a small project--only 8 x 10, but I'm still irritated at her presumptuousness. So, I'm curious. What would you have done in this situation--specifically, with the prepurchased kit. I want to be ready if it happens again.[/quote]

I'd have to say no to her. If for no other reason than you don't like the kits.

Invite her over when you are doing what you want to do and show her how to quilt herself.

GrannieAnnie

I second this idea!

Lilrain

I think I would probably "Just do it" and get it out of the way. You will feel good when it is not hanging over your head anymore. since it is 8x10 inches, shouldn't take a long time to do. And then tactfully decline any future requests from her

Quiltforme

What if you had her over and taught her how to make it? Might be a good way to show her how much time and skill it takes to do what we do. Just an idea.