What would you have done?
10-21-2010, 01:53 AM
#31
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 3,683
Originally Posted by np3
I wouldn't do it. I hope you mean 8 inches by 10 inches. She had no right to do that, even if she was your BFF. You have some time between now and spring to get out of it. Tell her that you are behind on your planned projects and just can't schedule it in.
10-21-2010, 02:02 AM
#32
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Mid-West
Posts: 3,838
I have to say it also took me too many yrs to learn how to say "NO".My standard reply in such situations is Sorry, can't do that,can't help or can't be there. Whatever.If I'm pushed,I just say no, I'm too busy to take on more. That's my final answer.
It's very, very freeing.It took me yrs to realize the world would keep on spinning,regardless of wether I did/didnot allow myself to be used.The older I get, the easier it is.It's one of the few perks of age.There aren't too many :-):-)
It's very, very freeing.It took me yrs to realize the world would keep on spinning,regardless of wether I did/didnot allow myself to be used.The older I get, the easier it is.It's one of the few perks of age.There aren't too many :-):-)
Originally Posted by shequilts
A very hard lesson to learn is how to simply say "No."
It took me half a lifetime to learn this. I used to be consumed doing things I didn't want to do until I decided enough. Saying "no" freed me. I don't make an excuse for why I don't want to do something, either fact or fiction. I just say "No" and move on. It's wonderful!
It took me half a lifetime to learn this. I used to be consumed doing things I didn't want to do until I decided enough. Saying "no" freed me. I don't make an excuse for why I don't want to do something, either fact or fiction. I just say "No" and move on. It's wonderful!
10-21-2010, 03:42 AM
#33
Banned
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Sturbridge, Ma
Posts: 3,992
Why don't you write back and tell specificially what additional supplies would be required and include a cost for labor. Don't use any of your supplies unless you have already told her. However, you should include the cost of supplies even if it is scraps from your own supply. You can use those scraps for your own projects and will have to eventually replace them. Do I understand that you don't have the kit. You might say that you are not sure about the time it will take but based on the information it will take approximately X number of days and the cost will be X.
I got myself into a situation similar to this many years ago and it taught me a hard lesson. It was an exchange situation - hand embroideried doll quilt for my granddaughter in exchange for finishing a partially made top which ended up being a queen size quilt with the purchase of additional reproduction fabrics and quilted.
If she is a real friend then she should understand.
But don't give in please.
I got myself into a situation similar to this many years ago and it taught me a hard lesson. It was an exchange situation - hand embroideried doll quilt for my granddaughter in exchange for finishing a partially made top which ended up being a queen size quilt with the purchase of additional reproduction fabrics and quilted.
If she is a real friend then she should understand.
But don't give in please.
10-21-2010, 04:34 AM
#35
Power Poster
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 12,861
i had a co-worker say to me a few days ago...i have a friend who wants you to make her a quilt for christmas...a queen sized one, i told her about the one you made for your sil and now she wants one...she's even willing to pay like a hundred bucks for it.
my response? first there is no way i can add another queen size quilt to my list before christmas, secondly, even if she furnished all of the fabrics, batting and thread i would not even look at making a queen size quilt for someone i don't even know for less than $500 ... and it would be more like a thousand;$1500 if i have to buy everything...and i need a 75% deposit to cut a piece of fabric.... she had no more to say about it. the reason she got the response she did was multi-faceted...first the one i made my sil i told this co=worker was very expensive to make...i have $500 into it ... i told her at the time...there are 22 pineapple blocks and i will probably never make another pineapple block...too time consuming and tedious; i told her that i have been swamped with quilting lately and do not know how i'm going to finish my own projects this year...too many outside things going on lately...
and she says to me ... well, i was just trying to help. ??? help with what i'm not quite sure of. i haven't sold any size quilt for less than $100 in years, i really don't know what she is thinking; or why she thought this was helping me somehow...i did sell this co-worker's daughter 2 quilts about 4 years ago, and i care about this girl and gave her a good deal...but they were smaller than twins and still over $100. anyway...when it comes to doing this sometimes you really have to just say no...or tell them it will cost way more than they ever imagined...when i told her more like a thousand she said...thats a joke right? i said no it is not a joke, my black appliqued quilt was appraised for $3700 and my neutrals crazy quilt for $5400 i do not make cheap quilts. if you want to place a quilt order i require a deposit and we have to set down and go over exactly what you want...and the deposit in non-refundable!
yup...bi***y... i've had so much going on lately i guess i really have no patience left...
when approached with projects i really do not want to do, like yours i do tell people i charge $20 an hour for any sewing...with a 2 hour minimum...so it is going to cost a minimum of $40 no matter what it is ...even hemming a pair of pants...my way of avoiding having to do those projects...although it does amaze me the people actually willing to pay...........
my response? first there is no way i can add another queen size quilt to my list before christmas, secondly, even if she furnished all of the fabrics, batting and thread i would not even look at making a queen size quilt for someone i don't even know for less than $500 ... and it would be more like a thousand;$1500 if i have to buy everything...and i need a 75% deposit to cut a piece of fabric.... she had no more to say about it. the reason she got the response she did was multi-faceted...first the one i made my sil i told this co=worker was very expensive to make...i have $500 into it ... i told her at the time...there are 22 pineapple blocks and i will probably never make another pineapple block...too time consuming and tedious; i told her that i have been swamped with quilting lately and do not know how i'm going to finish my own projects this year...too many outside things going on lately...
and she says to me ... well, i was just trying to help. ??? help with what i'm not quite sure of. i haven't sold any size quilt for less than $100 in years, i really don't know what she is thinking; or why she thought this was helping me somehow...i did sell this co-worker's daughter 2 quilts about 4 years ago, and i care about this girl and gave her a good deal...but they were smaller than twins and still over $100. anyway...when it comes to doing this sometimes you really have to just say no...or tell them it will cost way more than they ever imagined...when i told her more like a thousand she said...thats a joke right? i said no it is not a joke, my black appliqued quilt was appraised for $3700 and my neutrals crazy quilt for $5400 i do not make cheap quilts. if you want to place a quilt order i require a deposit and we have to set down and go over exactly what you want...and the deposit in non-refundable!
yup...bi***y... i've had so much going on lately i guess i really have no patience left...
when approached with projects i really do not want to do, like yours i do tell people i charge $20 an hour for any sewing...with a 2 hour minimum...so it is going to cost a minimum of $40 no matter what it is ...even hemming a pair of pants...my way of avoiding having to do those projects...although it does amaze me the people actually willing to pay...........
10-21-2010, 04:58 AM
#36
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Blue Springs, MO
Posts: 2,167
How close is she too you? could you make a day trip to see her and maybe work on the quilt together. I think that she would then see all the work that goes into it and maybe not ask you again to do this. plus she will have the skills then to make her own quilt for her hubby.
10-21-2010, 05:01 AM
#37
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 783
If she purchased a kit, then she could most likely return it for a refund. If you told her husband you couldn't do it for a couple of years, tell her the same thing, that you're sorry, but with the holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other commitments coming up, you really just can't take on anything else right now...but you would be happy to teach her how to quilt and she could make it herself. That way you still get your stuff done and she can learn and go do her stuff.
10-21-2010, 05:21 AM
#39
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Fairbank, IA
Posts: 7
My neighbor lady, who yes is friend, got a "kit". she admitted it's been a while since done any sewng/quilting. Is something she is going to work on this winter. My response was if she needed some help I would take a look at and help HER work through it. I could answer any questions she had. she said she would keep me in mind and thanked me for the support!
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