Originally Posted by blondeslave

Oh dear me-what day is it? I had no idea so much time had passed. I set out to do a good deed but it took so much longer than I anticipated and well...here's what happened. I have no idea that I'd be MIA for this long and no hope of ever catching up but this is where I've been. It seemed to me that knowing myself pretty well I figured that I would end up in the hole eventually. Being a newbie I felt it would be nice to bring a little hostess gift to contribute. As many members in the hole have posted, there seems to be daily consumption of beverages. I thought it would be nice to bring some whine to the pawty. Off I went in my little red Jeep to buy the whine(yes I know it's spelled wrong-just go with it). I went to my local Bottle King and filled my cart with bottle after bottle of both red and white whines. Two cases in all. I loaded them in the Jeep and off I went. Problem. Where exactly is the hole? So I looked up where Terri lived and then had to google the address. Then I had to plug the info into "Doris" my GPS so we could find it. I actually got within 15 miles of the hole when I ran out of gas on a deserted road with no houses, gas stations, traffic etc. Why didn't I call AAA? Unfortunately my smart phone did not have a smart owner-forgot to charge it...sigh. Refusing to be beaten I grabbed the cases of whine and decided to walk the rest of the way. Thank goodness Doris has a walking program. Anyway, do you have any idea how heavy 2 cases of whine are? I realized right away that I would only be able to carry one case. So I unpacked all of the whine and repacked one box with what I thought the best bottles would be. Oh, I was a little thirsty so I opened up one of the bottles of white whine to drink along the way. Boy, I did good for about the 1st 2 miles and then I started to get tired. I decided to take a rest and propped myself up against a tree. I didn't mean to fall asleep...When I woke up the next morning my arms and shoulders were sore. I decided to lighten the load a bit by opening another bottle of whine. Surely I'll find civilization somewhere around here. Okay Doris do your stuff-what attractions are around here? Heavens-13 more miles to go. Ooh-Doris you're my hero-there's a truck stop 2 miles from here. I keep moving and after a short rest finally spy the truck stop. Boy am I hungry. I walk in to the diner and sit my box on the counter realizing that in my excitement to get to the hole I had left my purse in the car and had no money, no cellphone just Doris and now 11 bottles of whine. I explained the problem to the owner of the diner and she said that she would trade breakfast for 3 bottles of whine. The waitress brought me the best bacon and eggs I've ever eaten. I was so pleased I tipped the waitress 2 bottles of whine. As I got ready to go a woman truck driver asked where I was headed. She said she could take me all but the last mile or so on her way to her next delivery. I was so elated I offered her 3 bottles of whine in return for not having to walk the whole way. Whew! I waved as she dropped me off with Doris and my 3 bottles of whine I had left. Okay Doris, looks like I'm only a little bit over a mile from the hole. In my excitement I tripped over a tree root, stumbled and dropped the box. Shoot-I broke 2 bottles. Down to one bottle I forged ahead but then I got a little thirsty. I looked long and hard at that last bottle before I screwed the cap off. I'll just have a little sip. Glug, glug. glug. Goodness which whine is this-it's so goooood! Now no more-that's it. I was coming up on my destination and could see the edge of the hole. I lay on my stomach with my head hanging over the edge and call out to let everyone know I finally arrived. An arm reaches up to accept my gift. The sun glints off the bottle and to my dismay I realize there's about an inch of whine left in the bottle. I did say I was a little thirsty. As I tumble into the hole head first I think to myself-at least I have another case of whine in the car. Maybe someone would be kind enough to take me back to the car and we can get the other box of whine. Gosh I hope Doris remembers where I left the car... That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Originally Posted by SulaBug

DONE & DONE!! She'll be sorry that she has picked on all of us. won't she?