missgigglewings

Save them all till next year and let them know you are!

theoldgraymare

"my sil called and said that everyone has decided that we are NOT going to exchange gifts "

First, I would ask sil just who is "everyone"? YOU weren't asked, and I assume dh wasn't either. Sounds like sil made a unilateral decision and pushed it on the rest of the family.

Then, give the gifts anyway, because that is indeed what Christmas is about. If sil objects that everyone decided not to do that, politely tell her that you were not included in that decision and are not obliged to abide by it.

cathyvv

The tooth fairy pillows should definitely be given to the kids. They will appreciate them. Also, it is possible that the SIL is having financial problems, can't afford gifts and just doesn't want it to be known.

Other than that, all the advice given is good. Tough choice for you to make.

I'm from a large family and we long ago decided we couldn't give each other gifts at Christmas. I'd still be paying for gifts from 10 years ago... Now I tell my kids that I have everything I need, so make a donation to charity or Toys for Tots. I used to ask for things like cleaning the fridge - which I hate to do - but never got it. And I REALLY wanted that! And they all say that I'm hard to shop for..can't imagine why.

noveltyjunkie

Indeed. Everyone has been painting the SIL as the baddie, but this thought occurred to me as well.

who says SHE gets to choose for everyone?!!!!

mzsooz

I agree with everyone. Give them the gifts anyway. They are already made and I guarantee the kids won't be happy with crap from somebody's garage. That is an okay plan for adults but the kids should be given real gifts.

Beautiful job on your gifts. They are precious. :-D

noveltyjunkie

Actually, I disagree with Christmas being about giving, unless you mean giving your time. it can be very meaningful to just "BE" with people over the holidays.

But the fact is that you have ALREADY given those people the gift of your time and creativity in making them these gifts.

I can totally understand that being presented now with this ultimatum makes it seem as if people do not value what you have ALREADY GIVEN. It is as bad as waiting until Christmas Day and waiting until you were handing the gift over and saying "I don't want it". Especially when you had already discussed colour choices etc and they knew you were making for them.

I think it one of the rudest things I have ever heard actually, and I am TOTALLY not buying this advice about laughing it off or pretending YOU made a mistake or otherwise being submissive about how shabbily you are being treated. Don't be a doormat. Get your husband to ring around his family and tell them that it is hurtful to his wife to attempt to impose this decision at this stage. If they have a shread of decency they will realise that it would be very rude not to postpone the introduction of this new tradition until next year.

pittsburgpam

I would go ahead and give them. Did you make them with the expectation of getting something in return or did you make them because it made you happy to? I think it probably made you happy to do it even though it took time and money.

I hope that this wasn't decided upon because someone influential thought that homemade gifts were somehow equivalent to everyone else not "going to the trouble" or "expense" of buying gifts.

Lori Peercy

First I would like to say that you do great work and that I agree with the masses and that you should give the gifts anyway. Second how do you make the darling tooth pillows? I have a 6yr old grandson that I think just might be needing one soon! I LOVE THEM!!! Is there a pattern out there?

tjradj

Give your gifts and enjoy yourself watching the joy on people's faces. When SIL gets her knickers in a knot, just tell her that giving a gift is decided by the giver, not by someone else.
As for the white elephant thing, there is a time and a place for that - it's called college. Once you're grown up, it's time to hand the gag thing to the next generation.

GrammaO

Your gifts are fabulous. I assume you enjoyed make them and did so with a cheerful heart, not begrudgingly. Just because you SIL called and said plans change really doesn't change anything. You still put time, effort, money and lots of love into your gifts and I am sure that each person who receives one will love it. If you lived eight states away and couldn't be physically present at the party, would you care that they were doing a white elephant and you were mailing all your lovely gifts? God loves a cheerfull giver. Give, and you will be blessed. Merry Christmas!