Hilarious Kindergarten Kids "Recipes"
01-12-2011, 07:09 PM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,265
My grandson's kindergarten teacher asked her students to tell Mrs. B, who took dictation, how to make their favorite recipes. Below is a third of the "Holiday Cook Book" recipes. I am still laughing at their concepts of time and volume.
CHOCOLATE MUFFINS: Put chocolate in those paper things and put them in a ten degree oven for 3, 2 1 minutes. Take them out and blow on them so they will get cold. Then eat them.
SCRAMBLED EGGS: 14 or 15 eggs, 5 quarts of milk, 1 cup of salt. Crack the eggs and put them in a bowl and put in the milk and salt and stir it up with a spoon for 12 minutes. Put them on the pan on top of the stove and cook for 20 minutes. They are done when they look good.
CHICKEN: Put 80 pieces of chicken on a long-like pan. My mom puts it in the oven for 16 to 80 minutes. Take it out and eat it with mashed potatoes.
PANCAKES: 2 scoops of pancake mix, 2 scoops of butter, 3 scoops of water, 1 scoop of sugar and 2 scoops of the stuff that gives it taste. Put it in a bowl and mix them with a mixer for 15 minutes. Make them into round things and put them on a long pan and put them in a five degree oven for 1 minute. Take them out and put them on a plate. Put syrup on first, and butter on top of it. Makes 5 pancakes.
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES: 4 spoons of sugar, 4 scoops of cream and 5 scoops of chocolate chips. Stir up the sugar, cream and chocolate chips in a pan with a spoon for two hours. Then put it on a plate and put it into a two degree oven for two months. Take them out and put sprinkles on them. Makes 10 cookies.
MACARONI CASSEROLE: 20 pork chops, 20 boxes of macaroni and 30 cheeses. Cook the pork chops for 20 minutes. Cook the macaroni for 25 seconds. Stir the chops and macaroni together and stir in the cheese while you are stirring. Put it in the oven for 20 seconds and 25 minutes. Sometimes the cheese gets a little stretchy.
TURKEY: 1 big giant turkey. Take a frozen turkey out of the freezer and put the frozen turkey in a pot. Put it in a really hot oven for 10 minutes. It will get fat in the oven. Take it out and cut t up. Now you eat it.
GINGERBREAD COOKIES: 4 things of flour and 3 eggs. Mix the flour and eggs in a bowl with a mixer for 10 times. Put the stuff on a plate and use a knife to make them into pieces and put the pieces together to make gingerbread mans. Put them on a plate and put them in the oven and keep them there for 11 times. Take them out and eat them.
[end]
CHOCOLATE MUFFINS: Put chocolate in those paper things and put them in a ten degree oven for 3, 2 1 minutes. Take them out and blow on them so they will get cold. Then eat them.
SCRAMBLED EGGS: 14 or 15 eggs, 5 quarts of milk, 1 cup of salt. Crack the eggs and put them in a bowl and put in the milk and salt and stir it up with a spoon for 12 minutes. Put them on the pan on top of the stove and cook for 20 minutes. They are done when they look good.
CHICKEN: Put 80 pieces of chicken on a long-like pan. My mom puts it in the oven for 16 to 80 minutes. Take it out and eat it with mashed potatoes.
PANCAKES: 2 scoops of pancake mix, 2 scoops of butter, 3 scoops of water, 1 scoop of sugar and 2 scoops of the stuff that gives it taste. Put it in a bowl and mix them with a mixer for 15 minutes. Make them into round things and put them on a long pan and put them in a five degree oven for 1 minute. Take them out and put them on a plate. Put syrup on first, and butter on top of it. Makes 5 pancakes.
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES: 4 spoons of sugar, 4 scoops of cream and 5 scoops of chocolate chips. Stir up the sugar, cream and chocolate chips in a pan with a spoon for two hours. Then put it on a plate and put it into a two degree oven for two months. Take them out and put sprinkles on them. Makes 10 cookies.
MACARONI CASSEROLE: 20 pork chops, 20 boxes of macaroni and 30 cheeses. Cook the pork chops for 20 minutes. Cook the macaroni for 25 seconds. Stir the chops and macaroni together and stir in the cheese while you are stirring. Put it in the oven for 20 seconds and 25 minutes. Sometimes the cheese gets a little stretchy.
TURKEY: 1 big giant turkey. Take a frozen turkey out of the freezer and put the frozen turkey in a pot. Put it in a really hot oven for 10 minutes. It will get fat in the oven. Take it out and cut t up. Now you eat it.
GINGERBREAD COOKIES: 4 things of flour and 3 eggs. Mix the flour and eggs in a bowl with a mixer for 10 times. Put the stuff on a plate and use a knife to make them into pieces and put the pieces together to make gingerbread mans. Put them on a plate and put them in the oven and keep them there for 11 times. Take them out and eat them.
[end]
01-12-2011, 08:01 PM
#4
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: near Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 5,841
When I get a chance, I'll have to post a couple of my former Kindergarten students' recipes. The recipes are priceless!! The once little boys and girls are adults now, and I often wonder what they are doing with their lives. :wink:
01-13-2011, 03:14 PM
#10
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,289
Each of my three kids made these books in school and brought home a book full of the class recipes. Now, they're all adults, so last year for Christmas, I put new covers on them saying "Mom's Favorite Recipe's". They opened the packages together & were so happy to have my favorites, until they started reading...Then they said, where did you get these & I told them to look thru & find "THEIR" recipe. It was a very funny time for all of us. Thanks for the reminder!
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
craftybear
Recipes
4
10-09-2011 08:17 PM
craftybear
Recipes
0
09-17-2011 12:35 PM
craftybear
Recipes
6
04-29-2011 05:30 PM
craftybear
Recipes
2
04-07-2011 06:36 AM
