Long Marriages------------ Thank you
#11
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,375
Originally Posted by UglyCook
It's all about 2 people giving 150% and forgiving 100%.
DH and I have been together 15 years, married for 10. There were times a few years back when we were almost at our breaking point. And we were done. And soooooo one-sided in our perspectives. Maybe a little selfish, out for what WE wanted...but not out for what we wanted for US. I'm so glad we resolved our differences, and it can only get sweeter from here!
#13
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: western australia
Posts: 1,793
My DH & I have been married for 46 years come December.
we went into marriage without any thought of if it didn't work we would call it quits. we went into marriage for life, We have had our ups and downs, differing opinions on things from time to time. we were told it wont last more than 6 months and after 32 years of marriage my "DMIL" was still trying to break us up. we found the best things were.
1) communication
2) never go to bed angry.
3) we have done nearly everything together.
4) think of marriage as a rope 1 thread makes a very weak rope (thinking only of self). 2 strands make it a bit stronger(thinking of each other and each others feelings). & 3 strands make a very strong rope. (adding God and his principles into your marriage).
Following these 4 steps will make a marriage strong enough to survive anything life can throw at you.
we went into marriage without any thought of if it didn't work we would call it quits. we went into marriage for life, We have had our ups and downs, differing opinions on things from time to time. we were told it wont last more than 6 months and after 32 years of marriage my "DMIL" was still trying to break us up. we found the best things were.
1) communication
2) never go to bed angry.
3) we have done nearly everything together.
4) think of marriage as a rope 1 thread makes a very weak rope (thinking only of self). 2 strands make it a bit stronger(thinking of each other and each others feelings). & 3 strands make a very strong rope. (adding God and his principles into your marriage).
Following these 4 steps will make a marriage strong enough to survive anything life can throw at you.
#14
My DH and I will be married 26 years on September 22. We both entered into our marriage with the conviction that this commitment was for life. Divorce is not an option. That attitude changes the way you deal with issues. My 17 yr old son asked me one time why his dad and I spent so much time together. I told him we were best friends and when so many of his friends parent were divorced wasn't it nice to know that his parents were still goofy for each other. Hi ears turned bright red and he got this little grin and said maybe he didn't mind mom and dads pda's so much any more. I laughed and thanked him for his permission.
#15
It will be 56 years for us in Feb. Was it hard? You bet!! We separated for 9 months at one point early in the marriage, a case of being too young and scared. Hubby was feeling sort of like he had lost his freedom ( worked with a bunch of single guys). I was pregnant with second child and 18 years old! The time apart was hard, but it was also good for us. We had many many battles through the years, but I was determined my kids would have a two parent home. My Mom gave me the best advice. She told me to " take care of my family, and learn to live on my husbands' income. If you need to work to put food on the table, then do so". ( at the time I really wanted an outside job so we could buy nice things like my sisters had). Her feeling was when both partners are working, then you just spend more on "things" so you have to keep working and then family time suffers." I saw that happening with my sisters , so I did the old fashion thing and didn't work. Don and I still have arguments, but, we have always worked with each other on the important things
and we raised 4 very good, responsible kids( who by the way have all been divorced!!). I know young families today have a hard time with the economy, and women have to have jobs to survive, many can't stay home, and I feel so sorry for them. But, others do it so they can have big homes that they can't afford, nice vacations, big cars, etc., and those really are very unimportant in the end. What is important is having someone who loves you, cares about your feelings, and who stands by your side when things get rough. It is much to easy to get a divorce now, no stigma attached like it use to be, so many just throw in the towel at the first disagreement. Heck, many marry thinking they will divorce if they arenT happy. And I think now so many put their own happiness ahead of everyone else, and as parents, most of that is our fault. I'm not old fashioned, honestly, but I believe that we need to bring back those old time morals and values that I was raised with, at least some of them. Too many children are suffering because of divorce. And they do suffer!! I"ve seen it with my grandchildren, and it just isn't fair!! For you young ladies, get out if you are in abusive relationships, but try real hard not to sweat the little things, and work real hard at keeping your family together, especially if you have children. My husband and I are really glad we stuck together, and we are still very much in love after 55 years.
and we raised 4 very good, responsible kids( who by the way have all been divorced!!). I know young families today have a hard time with the economy, and women have to have jobs to survive, many can't stay home, and I feel so sorry for them. But, others do it so they can have big homes that they can't afford, nice vacations, big cars, etc., and those really are very unimportant in the end. What is important is having someone who loves you, cares about your feelings, and who stands by your side when things get rough. It is much to easy to get a divorce now, no stigma attached like it use to be, so many just throw in the towel at the first disagreement. Heck, many marry thinking they will divorce if they arenT happy. And I think now so many put their own happiness ahead of everyone else, and as parents, most of that is our fault. I'm not old fashioned, honestly, but I believe that we need to bring back those old time morals and values that I was raised with, at least some of them. Too many children are suffering because of divorce. And they do suffer!! I"ve seen it with my grandchildren, and it just isn't fair!! For you young ladies, get out if you are in abusive relationships, but try real hard not to sweat the little things, and work real hard at keeping your family together, especially if you have children. My husband and I are really glad we stuck together, and we are still very much in love after 55 years.
#16
couldn't agree more with abbyquilts. My husband's parents are divorced, my parents were both married before their marriage and are now divorced with my mother on her 3rd somewhat failing marriage. I had aunts/uncles and grandparents with successful marriages to look at. We have been married almost 8 months and are very happy. Divorce is something we will not even joke about--it's absolutely not in the deal. My husband said before we were married that marriage is not a commitment. It is a covenant between 2 people and God and unbrakeable so be sure before you marry. Love that man. :)
#17
Dh and I will be married 36 years on 9/7. The week before we got married, we sat down and really talked a lot of things through. We made a pact that no matter how tough it got, we would not let the word divorce come into out home. We said that if we couldn't say it and mean it, there wouldn't be a wedding. It wasn't always easy, but we have kept that pact. 36 years and 4 kids later, we are so glad that we had that discussion. Don't get me wrong, some marriages should never have taken place to begin with and should be dissolved. But with divorce being so easy and so socially acceptable, to many couples just don't give it everything they could and should. A few years ago we went to a wedding and heard the groom say, "well, if it doesn't work out we can just get a divorce". It made me just sick. Also, (and I'm not preaching, but it worked for us)we agreed that there would always be three in our marriage. Us and God and if we would do that, there wasn't anything we couldn't get through.
#18
Power Poster
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Murray, Ky. Looking for a nice cushy pillow to rest my head on!
Posts: 14,022
We will be married 18 years on 9/5. I can't see living without him. There are days when I could knock him over the head with an iron skillet but I would do it with love. If anything I don't see how he can live with me, there are days I don't like living with me. Lol. You all have a great day.
#19
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,730
My husband and I go married in 1976, the bicentenial year. That makes 34 years for us. We are empty nesters now and I just retired. We spend much time together and life is slower paced. We have 5 DGSs. Our youngest is trying to plan her wedding and har two older sisters seem to be happily married. My parents have been married for many years, but all of our siblings have seperated. I am truly belssed to have the family I have. :) :)
#20
My sister, brother and I all got married the same year (1976) and yes we are all still married today (34 years later) We believe in staying together through good times and bad. My husband and I have lived through not being able to have kids, 3 major job losses because of company shutdowns and now a disability but we are still together and always there for each other.
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09-07-2011 04:46 PM