Children writing about the Ocean
#1
1. If you are surrounded by ocean you are an island. If
you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne , age 7)
2. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like
Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
3. A dolphin breathes through an a**hole on the top of its
head. (Billy, age 8. )
4. My uncle goes out in his boat with two other men and a pot and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
5. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds
to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors
would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
6. Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are
beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get
pregnant? (Helen, age 6)
7. I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother
is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister
has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
8. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric
eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea
where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age
7)
9. When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold,
and it makes my w***y small. (Kevin, age 6)
10. On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off
when she went very fast. She says she won't do it again because water
fired right up her big backside. (Julie, age 7)
11. The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish
don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)
12. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about
the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and
married my mom.
(James, age 7)
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